Thoughts
by Sea Queen
Summary: Yuuri’s thoughts on Julia make him the victim of Conrad’s concern. ConYuu


Disclaimer: I don't own KKM

Sum: Yuuri's thoughts on Julia make him the victim of Conrad's concern. ConYuu

A/N: I have no idea how this fic will turn out, but I'll just have to wing it and it will most likely be the shortest fic I've ever written.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-Thoughts-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Shibuya Yuuri, 27th Maou of Shin Makoku, was sitting at his desk in his office at Blood Pledge Castle. He had been signing papers since that morning, but Gwendal kept coming into his office to 'check up on some papers,' which Yuuri interpreted as 'check up on you to make sure you're doing your work.'

The king sighed and leaned back in his chair. The weather outside was lovely and Yuuri would do anything to be out there playing baseball or just chilling in the shade of a tree.

He was free now.

Not that he was free from paperwork, but he was a free agent; he was no longer taken. Wolfram had broken their engagement a few months ago, knowing that Yuuri could never love him romantically and that the relationship could never surpass friendship.

Yuuri got up and walked to the window that had been behind him. He watched as the maids shouted at Dorcas for dirtying the clothes that were drying outside then his eyes moved to the horses that were grazing in the pasture farther off from the castle and to the left of the stables, and he could hear Conrad encouraging his men with shouts as they sparred in partners.

Yuuri let his eyes linger on the brown-clad soldier; the one who had stolen his heart… and who could never love him in the same way.

Conrad was perfect and Yuuri wasn't.

As if to prove his king's point, Conrad turned his loving brown eyes to the window Yuuri was standing at and gave the teen a small wave and million-dollar smile.

Yuuri waved back shyly, embarrassed at having been caught staring. He then heaved tired sigh as Conrad turned to his men to give them more instructions.

Yuuri held his pendant—the one Julia had given to Conrad and Conrad had given to him.

Or—the young king froze, still clutching the blue stone—or had Conrad just returned the necklace to its proper owner?

Was Yuuri really nothing more to him than Julia's shadow? Julia's soul?

Conrad had always denied it when Yuuri had asked, but he was sure that Conrad had loved Julia.

Look at him now, giving his men an end-of-the-lesson pep talk. Yuuri felt jealousy overcome his feelings; Conrad was open and honest with his men. He wasn't honest with Yuuri and he never had been, lying about the reasons he protected Yuuri and _Yuuri_ was worth risking his life for.

It had never truly been about Yuuri, no, it had always secretly and in a 'read between the lines' type of way been about protecting Julia's soul's vessel.

Yuuri wasn't stupid; he knew that Conrad had feelings for him—or at least some part of him. But that was something the boy-king didn't want. He wanted Conrad to love _him_ not just his soul.

His stomach churned, thinking like this was starting to make him feel sick. Just the mere thought of being Julia's replacement was enough to make Yuuri dash to the nearest trashcan and throw up the contents of his stomach.

"Yuuri!"

Damn.

"I'll call for Gisela." Yuuri looked up at Gwendal, shaking his head desperately.

"Please don't, I don't want to trouble her since this is nothing major."

"Are you sure, Yuuri?" Conrad was still rubbing his king's back though he had stopped puking.

"Yes," The two brothers exchanged glances and Gwendal nodded, leaving Conrad to take care of the Maou.

Conrad led the younger man to the couch in the room and went to get him a glass of water from the pitcher in the room.

"Thank you." Yuuri accepted the glass and drank to rid his mouth of that horrible taste.

"Now are you sure you're—"

"I'm fine!" The exasperation was toned down with a smile, to which Conrad gave one of his own.

There was a moment's silence, before Yuuri broke it jokingly, "I should get sick more often that way I wouldn't have to keep reminding you to call me 'Yuuri.'"

Both of the room's occupants knew what he was doing: stalling and keeping the conversation on brotherly familiarity to avoid 'the talk' as he had done for the past few weeks.

"Yuuri," So much for that master plan… "We really need to talk."

Black eyes shifted to his lap, "I know, but it's hard."

"I don't understand what makes this so hard," Conrad almost sounded angry; he had been waiting for Yuuri to give him a chance to share his feelings, but any time he had come close, Yuuri had left or changed the subject or _something_. But this time Conrad wasn't stopping for anything, "I love you and I know that you at least like me a bit."

"I do!" Black eyes moved to meet brown, "I more than like you—I love you, but…"

"But what? I really don't see why you make this so hard on both of us…" The soldier looked sad and Yuuri hated making him look like that.

"Conrad, I'm just not sure if you… really like _me_."

"Didn't I just tell you that I _don't_ like you—that I _love_ you? What are you so uncertain about? Please tell me so that I can figure out a way to wash away your uncertainty."

This was it; the final confrontation. Yuuri looked his bodyguard, his most loyal subject, his beloved, his everything in the eye, "Do you really love me, Shibuya Yuuri, or my—Julia's—soul?"

Conrad was stunned.

There was silence.

The silence stretched for a long time.

Then Conrad laughed.

The situation was so absurd that it caused Yuuri to laugh too.

The pair laughed for a good five minutes, until Conrad managed a few shaky words, "So t-this is wh-at happen-s when you're left al-lone with your thoughts?"

The teen's already red face turned redder.

"I love you, Shibuya Yuuri Harajuku Fuuri, 27th Maou of Shin Makoku."

"But Julia was—"

"She was kind, loving, and forgiving, just like you, but what I admire most about you—and the main reason I never loved Julia—is that you act and speak what you believe in. It doesn't make any difference to you whether the world's against your actions or not. You act despite what everyone else thinks and that makes you unique and different from everyone else in the world."

It looked like a red something was trying to consume Yuuri's entire face.

"Julia always just spoke about Humans and Mazoku living together in peace, but she never did anything to achieve that goal. I admit that I liked her at first, but once I got to know her she just became a good friend." Conrad chuckled, "I often found myself imagining someone with her beauty, her kindness, her pureness—just someone with her soul, who would be willing to stand up for what they believe in."

Yuuri was surprised as one of Conrad's strong arms lifted and his hand caressed Yuuri's face, "Then I met you on your first day here and the way you talked about how this must all be a dream or attraction, told me that you would stand up for your views no matter what. Then you got engaged and I just secretly hoped that you would break the engagement."

"I did try, though," Yuuri mused, unconsciously leaning into the touch, "I told Wolfram countless times that I hadn't meant it and that he should reject me or we should mutually call the whole thing off, but he wouldn't listen."

"He loves you," Yuuri nodded. "I can understand why, but he can never have your love and I'm eternally grateful for that."

There was a pause during which the two enjoyed each other's company and thought about the said things.

"So," Yuuri looked a bit uncertain as Conrad turned questioning eyes on him, "What do we do now?"

Conrad's curious look turned to one of a predator's, "Now I drag you to your room and ravish you like crazy." As he was speaking he grabbed both of Yuuri's hands and pulled him up fast, causing him to lose his balance and fall into Conrad's chest.

"C-Conrad!" The teen was blushing like crazy, "We—we ca-n't!"

The older half-Mazoku looked thoughtful for a moment then he looked at his king victoriously, "You're right; we're too hungry to do anything before dinner… You just wait till after we've finished eating."

Yuuri pushed away from his new lover, looking both highly embarrassed and flustered.

Gwendal chose that exact moment to walk in.

The scene was still for a moment, until Gwendal made the slightest of movements: he raised an eyebrow.

That sent Yuuri into a fit of swinging, waving, and flailing arms, "It's not what it looks like! Really we were just—"

Choosing to ignore his king, Gwendal turned to his brother, "Dinner's ready."

For reasons unknown to Gwendal this sent the somewhat-calmed-down Yuuri into another, even crazier fit with more blushing and flailing.

Gwendal shook his head at his younger brother, knowing full well that Conrad was their mother's son.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-Thoughts-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-


End file.
